Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Bulldog Reviews
“Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters”
By: Michael Pickowicz

Here’s a movie I’ve been waiting for a long time. It’s the film whose promotions not only caused a panic in Boston, but also got the head of Cartoon Network to resign his position. That movie is none other than “Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.” Now, those crazy food items are back and ready to cause more comedic chaos, big screen style.
“Aqua Teen Hunger Force” is an animated comedy that follows the ongoing adventures of Master Shake, a milkshake, Frylock, a side of fries, and Meatwad, the transforming ball of meat. While it’s difficult to describe the plot of this movie, I can basically say it involves an ancient piece of exercise equipment, the Aqua Teen’s origins, Time Traveling Lincoln, star swipes and an evil slice of watermelon.
If you’ve never cared for “Aqua Teen Huger Force” the show, I find it hard to believe that you’ll like this movie. This movie makes no sense whatsoever. For fans of the show, myself being included, this is one of the bests attributes of the show. Also, this movie includes so many inside references to the show, it would almost be impossible for anyone unfamiliar with the characters to follow along.
The “Aqua Teen Huger Force” movie retains all the same funny jokes that the show has. That being said, this movie is insanely funny and is easily on par with the humor of the first few seasons of the series. For those who are unfamiliar with the series, here’s a quick test: Do you find blasting kittens out of plasma cannons to attract woman funny? If so, this movie’s for you. Returning are some fan favorite characters including Carl, the Plutonians, the Mooninites and, my personal favorite, The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past. Their interactions with the Aqua Teen crew are as hysterical as always, providing conversations that go nowhere and mean nothing. Also, fans can look forward to most of the series “loose ends” to be tied during this movie.
While I did find the movie great, I did have some complaints, as a fan, which seemed to damper the film. First of all, the movie is far too long. One of the best aspects of the television show is that it’s simply 15 minutes of random humor. Here, we get over 90 minutes worth. While it remains funny through out, I find this type of comedy is better in small doses. I also found the movie to be too held back. No risks are really taken in the movie, as characters act just how you would expect them to act in a normal episode. Everyone spouts the usual lines you would expect from them over and over again. While still funny, it makes you wonder if [Adult Swim] could have easily made this into a direct-to-television movie and saved us the eight bucks.
If you’re a fan of the show “Aqua Teen Hunger Force”, you will love this movie and know what to expect from it. It’s easily some of the best humor the show has put out. None of it makes sense, but that’s its appeal. That said, nothing new really is brought to the table, as it feels like an extended episode. Also, even the most die hard fans may find the length hard to handle. While “Aqua Teen Huger Force” plays out like a long television episode, this is in no way a bad thing for fans that have grown attached to their favorite fast food object’s brand of wacky, random and tasteless humor. This movie receives 3 ½ Bulldogs out of 5.

Grindhouse

Bulldog Reviews
“Grindhouse”
By: Michael Pickowicz

What do you get when you cram as much sex, blood, and gore in two movies for a three hour period? A “Grindhouse”, of course! Directors Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino have each made a movie and are willing to prove that this dead tradition from the 1970’s can survive in today’s society.
The first movie shown was Rodriguez’s zombie movie, “Planet Terror”. The basic premise of the movie is about a former go-go dancer/wanna-be stand up comedian, named Cherry, and her ex-boyfriend, who was also a serial killer at one point in his life, named El Wray, as they battle a zombie virus that has taken a town in Texas by storm. The second movie shown is Tarantino’s “Death Proof”. This movie revolves around a has-been stuntman, simply called Stuntman Mike, as he uses his daredevil skills in his car to get into car crashes and kill women.
While these movies may seem plain ridiculous, that is exactly what the directors were going for. “Planet Terror” is definitely they crazier of the two films. This movie is just plan fun. All the thrills, laughs and pure gore that you would expect from a zombie movie are here and taken to the extreme. The movie is so over the top, that the absurd plot twists really don’t matter that much. It’s hard not to enjoy a movie that has a heroine with a grenade launcher/machine gun for a leg, and a hero who takes two switch blades and kills numerous amounts of zombies without a second thought. Another cool aspect of this movie is the real feeling that you are watching a movie that has been cheaply made. There is over exposed parts, random color changes, grain effects and shaky film, which give the film an authentic feel to it.
“Death Proof”, on the other hand, is a mix bag. One of the big problems with the movie is the sheer amount of talking. While I understand Tarantino’s desire to try to create a detailed cast of characters that the audience should care for, I didn’t feel that it added to the movie. The multiple female characters that you get to personally know aren’t really all that interesting. That being said, not all the long conversations were bad. Stuntman Mike, the main villain, is actually an interesting character to listen to as he makes conversation with the girls. You really do get to know and feel his pain as a stuntman that the world has forgotten and ignored. The best part about this movie is the last 30 minutes, which features one of the best, most suspenseful car chase scenes that I have seen in a while. Also, the ending is excellent.
While both movies are great in their own way, the overall presentation of “Grindhouse” is fantastic. Before and in between the movie, there are trailers for fake movies shown. These segments are truly inspired, offering outrageous concepts that are insanely funny. I almost wish some of these movies were real. My personal favorites were “Don’t” and “Thanksgiving”. Also, along with trailers are cool segments that add to the overall feel of watching a movie at an old drive-in theater.
The best way to describe “Grindhouse” is a movie going experience. The movie presents itself in such a unique way, it’s an absolute must see for any one that is into fun, scary, horror movies. “Planet Terror” is a fantastic movie which hits all the right marks when it comes to a cheesy zombie flick. It gets a 4½ out of 5. For “Death Proof”, while Tarantino asks a lot from the audience by making us listen to endless amounts of “girl talk”, Stuntman Mike and the last half of the movie make it all worth it. It gets a 3½ out of 5. “Grindhouse” as an overall movie experience (including fake trailers) earns 4½ Bulldogs out of 5.

Meet the Robinsons

Bulldog Reviews
“Meet the Robinsons”
By: Michael Pickowicz

It’s not new news that Disney Animation has been going through rough times. Unable to produce a decent movie in the past few years, the company blamed the medium, closing down all its hand drawn studios, which were used to produce classics like “The Little Mermaid” and “Aladdin”. Fortunately for Disney, for the small price of $7 Billion, they are now in the loving arms of Pixar Animation Studios. “Meet the Robinsons” is the first of a few movies to receive a quick script rework by Pixar before it hit screens.
“Meet the Robinsons” is an animated comedy based on the picture book, “A Day with Wilbur Robinson”. The basic premise revolves around an orphan, Lewis, who has a knack for inventing. One of his inventions, the Memory Scanner, catches the eye of an evil man from the future, referred to as “The Bowler Hat Guy”, and his bowler hat robot, Doris, who steal a time machine to steal the invention. Lewis meets a boy from the future named Wilbur Robinson who needs Lewis’s help to retrieve the Memory Scanner so the future doesn’t alter for the worse. This takes Lewis though a crazy, time traveling adventure, where he meets the family he has always dreamed of.
As you can see from the plot description, this movie seems to be every where at once. I’m going to get right to the point and state that the pacing of “Meet the Robinsons” is very off. The beginning of the movie goes so at a decent speed, but then goes into overdrive when Lewis actually is introduced to the Robinson Family. Characters are introduced at such a fast pace, you barely get to know any of them. This makes the fact that relationships are formed between the family and Lewis hard to believe. Thankfully, while most of them are one joke wonders, they were all pretty funny in their own way.
There was a lot that worked in “Meet the Robinsons”. Firstly, the over all message of “Keep moving forward” seemed fresher then most movie morals that kids are forced upon today. Throughout the movie, I grew to like the character of Lewis as he learned from the simple phrase. It’s almost hard not to like a film that truly believes in the moral they are preaching.
Another aspect of the movie that I loved was the character, Bowler Hat Guy. While watching the movie, it’s apparent that this was the character animators had the most fun with. His movements and facial expressions are unlike anything I have ever seen in a CGI film before. Also, while I’m not a big fan of bad guys who are dumb, BHG is so stupid, it’s almost impossible not to like. Basically every scene he was in had me laughing harder then any Disney movie I’ve seen in years. His interactions with his robot bowler hat, Doris, are quite funny.
“Meet the Robinsons” is a very good family film which truly has its comedic moments, mostly thanks to the fantastic Bowler Hat Guy. At times, I could even call the film heartwarming. The movie does have serious pacing problems, which does affect having any feelings towards the Robinson Family. While not on the same level of Pixar movies, it is better then most of the recent animated features. “Meet the Robinsons”, while it does have its flaws, is a good indication that Disney is ready to learn from their mistakes and “keep moving forward”. This movie earns 3 ½ Bulldogs out of 5.

300

Bulldogs Reviews
“300”
By: Michael Pickowicz

A few weeks ago, I mentioned some movies can succeed with minimal plot and meaningless dialog as long as the action is well thought out and entertaining. The movie “300” may be one of the best examples of that theory truth, as it offers some of the biggest thrills you can find in a theater now.
“300” is a pure action movie, through and through. The movie is based on a graphic novel by the same name, written by Frank Miller of “Sin City” fame. The basic plot of the movie is that the country of Persia is threatening to take over Sparta. Unfortunately, for Persia, the Spartan king, Leonidas, isn’t about to let that happen. When the king is denied by the wise men to wage a full war against the Persians, Leonidas, illegally, takes 300 of his best men to try and stop the Persian evasion.
The heart and soul of this movie revolves around the endless amounts of battles the Spartans encounter. I personally found them to be perfectly choreographed, always keeping me on the edge of my seat in awe at all the gore that was unfolding before me. The many different tactics and weapons used in battle keep the movie from being tedious and repetitive. I also fond the enemies in the movie to be creative and well made up; each scene bringing on a new foe with their own unique skills.
One of the most important aspects of “300” is the way it was made to look. The dull colors, which the movie boasts, give an old, ancient feeling that “300” is trying to portray. What impressed me even more was how they were able to make the movie look of a graphic novel. While watching, I could almost visualize the drawn out pictures that the movie was inspired by.
While the battles in the movie are exhilarating, other aspects of the movie seem to be lacking. One example would be the dialog. For the most part, the dialog is laughably bad and pretty predictable from a movie of this sort. Also, while the plot does a good enough job stringing the multiple battles together, it’s not the deep or thought provoking in a way.
While “300” may not be the most intelligent movie out there, it makes up for it by delivering unbelievable battles that will have you glued to the screen. If you’re looking for a movie that offers pure action and willing to forgive a few bits of dialog, this movie is a must see. That being said, this isn’t for those with weak stomach. “300” gives the audience all the blood, guts, sex, abs and gore they could ever dream of in a 120 minute period. “300” earns 4 Bulldogs out of 5.